Saturday, December 4, 2010

Wonder

By applying to NYU to audit a graduate course that requires weekly trips into the city, sometimes staying the night in areas I've never visited before, a seminar that exposes me to texts and ideas I would never consider otherwise.  By flipping through guidebooks of local hikes and choosing one within ten or over twenty miles away, driving through towns I've only heard of and surrounding myself with trees and rocks and dirt and wind.  By pointing out to my husband that we can use points to get a couple of free nights at a hotel in Maine, which we've never visited, to see friends we haven't seen since 2006.  By teaching a book I have never read but have heard nothing but constant wonderful things about.  By saying yes.  By sending an email to someone I trust that says "How about I buy you lunch so we can talk about things beyond my control and how to figure out what's best for me."  By clicking random links on Wikipedia and uncovering connections and trivia that make me laugh.  By saying hello.  By attaching a pedometer to my belt and wondering what it would take and where I would go to hit ten thousand steps in one day.  By saying no.  By buying sample paint colors and painting squares on my wall, staring at them for weeks and imagining what my space could be.  By admitting that just telling the truth is the right step to take.  By asking for help not just for me but for those I love.  By never forgetting.  By deciding never to step on a scale again but to check my blood pressure regularly instead.  By giving myself time to wander around store aisles and thinking, "How would this look instead of what I actually came in for?"  By signing up for #reverb10 within one minute of hearing about it.  By pulling out of boxes and putting on display things from my childhood and adolescence that mattered to me.  By checking what's in my checking account and donating some of it here or there when I wanted to feel like I was doing something, no matter how small.  By not always saying what I was thinking but allowing myself to think it fully.  By making mix CDs so I can sing in the car, loudly, windows up or down.  By loving things about myself that others have criticized or laughed at for decades.

By dong all of these things, I created numerous moments this year that led to me saying some version of "wow" to some minor or major degree; I continually create wonder in my life by getting off my ass, breaking out of my routine, and doing things just because I have never done them or have not done them in a long time.

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