What have I spent this year ignoring? Actually, not a lot. That's actually a change for me. I am someone who has a history of avoidance. I won't go into it, but I got yelled at a lot as a kid. Sometimes, it was justified. Sometimes, it was not. It did not rise to the level of abuse even though I think anger at other people I now realize was sometimes taken out on me. But my defense became avoidance, which doesn't exactly stop getting yelled at, but at least then I don't feel like I'm being criticized for not doing something I didn't know I should be doing. When I was in therapy, we talked about this, and my coping strategy became asking myself what was the true worst case scenario if I did something and failed. Most of the time, the worst case scenario was not that bad, and it also rarely happened.
Perhaps it's because of being in therapy from 2005-9 and the fact that a lot in my life has stabilized with tenure, but I have gotten a lot better at not avoiding things. Oh, sure, could I do more for my health? Yes, but it's not like I've done nothing. I did not hit the treadmill as much I should have, but I did take my summer hikes and reduce carbonated, sugary drinks in my life. I did not finish a lot of research this past year, but I worked on some things including my successful sabbatical application that will allow me to do more next year. I also had my first year in a long time of not having one cent of credit card debit or paying one cent of interest. Even on this holiday break, I have already called and scheduled all appointments and meetings that I wanted to have, with my doctor, for my car, and with a couple of colleagues about projects.
2010 was a year when I did more, and I hope all of that sets up an even more productive 2011.
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