Sunday, October 11, 2009

Disrupting the Patterns

Da Man and I love our routines. We do the same things on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, for example. We park in the same spots when we go shopping or to the movies. We have the same little rituals before we go to bed or when we get up. The way we look at it, there are so many things in our lives that demand our attention, we don't want to have to think about things if we don't have to. Hence, the patterns in our lives.

We love the place we've moved into. I am typing this from my home office, which I have not had since we left Ohio in 2003. We look around and walk around (since there's enough space to walk around in), and we talk about what we plan to do over the next few years and how great things are going to be.

For now, though, the patterns have been greatly disrupted. In terms of our home life, they've been destroyed. And it's shaken us up. Last night, I started to feel down, and it threw me a bit. But Da Man was feeling it, too, which is a good thing. One of the reasons why we've been together as long as we have is because we agree about certain foundational principles in terms of how we live our lives. And we know we'll get through these next few weeks and be very happy about the move. Until then, though, we are certainly discombobulated.

This, too, shall pass. Step by step until then.


  1. Moving is one of life's big stressors--precisely b/c of the way it upends all the rituals and routines. I don't think I was half this self-aware of just how hard that all was the last time we moved--may you and Da Man quickly navigate through this transition to new routines in your new spaces.

  2. My wife and I recently went through the same thing when we moved into our house (about two months ago, now). I think you've got a very healthy perspective, recognizing the way a disrupted routine can cause you to just go into a funk. The good news is, a new place may very well bring some fun new routines. For example, my wife and I have discovered that our new front porch lends itself very well to "sittin' a spell" with a bottle of wine between us at the end of a busy week of teaching, writing, and meeting with committees.

    I also think moving is sometimes good for a relationship. Or at least, this most recent move has been good for mine. Because if there's one thing we've learned, it's that neither of us wants to carry boxes and boxes of books again. So no matter what problems we encounter, I know we'll work it out, because otherwise someone's going to wind up carrying a box full of English literature anthologies or the hardcover Orwell, Updike, and Didion collections...

    -- William Bradley (from the #CNFTWEETs on Twitter)