Thursday, December 16, 2010


I admit that I rolled my eyes when I saw that the topic for #reverb10 today was friendship.  That's a word that's always made me cringe.  It's so abstract and vague, and that's become even worse in an era where "friend" has become a verb as well as a noun.

And then, in a bit of synchronicity, I exchanged IMs today with a friend, the kind of friend I have had my entire life.  I don't have a lot of people with whom I feel comfortable sharing things.  You know, the kind of person you say the truth to when they ask, "Hey, how have things been?"  Most of the time I smile and say "fine," but with a few people, they'll get more of the story.  And what I find especially interesting--what I further confirmed in that conversation this afternoon--is that I am that way with people for life even if we speak rarely.  I have my husband, a daily source of support, and I am lucky to have him.

The friends with whom I can share anything are not a part of my daily life, but I reconnect with them very easily.  My sister is something of an example.  We speak about four or five times a year.  It's not often.  But when we get together, we act like kids who hang out all the time.  My husband is always surprised by how we act, and my mother would always shake her head at us (though I know she loved when we were all together acting like this).  I am that way with certain people, able to pick up right where we left off when we were a daily part of each other's lives.  It feels great when it happens, and it reminds me that I do have friends even if I have spent much of my life as an introverted loner who normally prefers to eat alone at conferences or meetings or other public gatherings.  Something I need to remember.


  1. That sounds very familiar. A lot of my best friends (other than my wife), I don't have daily contact with them, but when we connect on the phone or in person, we pick up right where we left off.

    Some of the relationships we have that we call friendship, they're so based on a particular place or shared experience that they die when not nourished with regular contact. Those are fine, they are what they are, but they're not the highest flower of friendship.

    I guess what I'm getting at, what you start off your post with, is that our language is too poor when it comes to words to describe different sorts of friends, as they all go by the same name.

  2. Oh, I definitely prefer to eat alone at conferences! Glad I'm not the only one.

  3. I am glad I am one of those friends for you, as you *certainly* are for me. And much like you, I don't have a lot of people in my life who get the "whole truth and nothing but the truth" version, and the ones I do have remain in that category no matter how often we do--or don't--speak.

    Maybe our similarity in this regard is part of the reason why we are that type of friend for each other.

    Thanks for the chat today.