Thursday, July 2, 2009

Two Years

My Mother and Me (December 2005)

My mother died two years ago today. Two years. I woke up not feeling too bad about it. I actually thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad today." But I've gotten worse as the day's gone on. No surprises, I guess. It's been a long couple of years with a lot of things happening, some good, some bad, a lot I don't want to go through again. I was trying to work earlier but just kinda crashed. Again, no surprises. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day Da Man's father died (forty-one years ago). The anniversary of his grandmother's death is ten days after my grandmother's. Days we'll never forget.

Soon after my mother died, Ron posted this poem for me, and it still speaks to me.


When Nijinsky died, they cut open his feet
to find the secret of his dance. His bones,

it turns out, were like anyone’s.
With each step, our heels sink that much

deeper into earth. We have
nowhere else to go. Once my mother

crossed and recrossed an entire field
to find my sandal. Now she’s gone;

she left her darning.

: Jody Gladding, Stone Crop


  1. I love that picture.

    Thanks for sharing the poem. Quite powerful.

    Hugs to you.

  2. That seems to be how grief works -- these scars that re-open every year. Hugs to you, Nels.

  3. It has been 10 years since my mom died... the rawness fades, but the pain is always there.